For the longest time (my memory tells me age 15) I started to believe I couldn't draw.. it haunts me still. Sometimes I even believe it. I prefer to paint rather than draw, any day. (or is that just drawing with a less precise implement…?)
I want to speak of this because I think (and I could be wrong) that it is a very commonly held belief by many. So last Thursday night I took myself for the first time to meet a (new to me) group of local artists and joined their warm invitation for an evening of life drawing. I had a chat to my inner critic/s on the way there in my car… out loud… "listen guys… I am going to need your kindness and love tonight please, other times I have experienced a small hell in life drawing classes where I compared myself to the others and felt like I was constricted, a fake and absolutely hopeless at drawing.. so … you guys have the task to take notice of the details that I may be able to use at a later date.. and otherwise… leave me alone to experience this in a very positive way please".
As it turned out.. the group were amazing, the model a delight and the experience for me held a profound moment that I did not expect.
How 'right' this image does or doesn't look is not the point here… the magic.. and the moment that happened.. was that as I drew that chin.. I had a wave of emotion hit me, overwhelm me, and spill out of my eyes.. I was stopped in my self.. for me.. something in that moment/line/page/model/space/time reminded me of my sister Min… (she died in June 1997) and I was struck by the gift that was. … and that it came to me in the midst of something I have avoided, as I believed 'I couldn't draw'.
the note I wrote on the page says:
"Min's chin …
it stopped me in my self…
tears came to my eyes…
a capsule of emotion.
So unexpected a gift,
to let it go again
is painful …
but I have captured it
with my pencil."
I don't think it really matters how well we can draw… it's what the opportunity of creativity can open up for us that matters to me far more. I might even go again. … to life drawing. Drawing life… what a gift to even be able to give it a go.
bye for now,
love Denise. xo
I had a small melt down this week (in great company.. inside a mastermind group I am blessed to meet with) about this smash book teaching thing… because it seems to be counter to creating art/painting/whatever (this is very likely the voice of my inner critic.. because it’s never happy, never thinks I do enough, or am good enough, or paint enough, or sell enough *&^*%*&* the list could go ON)
… but… on deeper probing… I discovered.. that for me. my Smashbook is a self created safe space.. and it is this Opportunity that I feel compelled to share (that is.. HOLD SPACE for) ... it has the potential to be a self created safe space… and that is quite intrinsic to a life of an artist. (or human BEING for that matter)
As I went into my beliefs around my creative process.. my self as ‘artist’... the thought also flitted past... that I wish I had been shown this as a child.. growing up... I recall some really harsh teachers.. and how rubbish they made me feel... they didn’t realise (or care?) at the time the turmoil I had going on inside me.
So, in my workshops I always hope that I can create circles in which artists, mums, friends, sisters, daughters, sons, dads, people who are grieving, people who are healing, anyone's really.. can come and through the gentle process of intentional creativitea ….. enjoy a restorative space in time.
The picture above is from my art table on Sunday.. I'm creating a smashbook called 'MOTHER LOVE'.. so I am putting in anything that reminds me of my Mum… and some things that relate to me as a Mother myself… when you create your own alchemical container.. you can decide whatever you like that will go in it.. and it's perfect. Perfect for you.
I'm having a competition? no.. I hate that word.. I currently have a delightful opportunity.. for one dear person to win an Intentional Creativitea Session with me via Skype.. and a personally created Smashbook for them. You can find out all about that here. Entries close 1 Sept 2014.
And… if you want to find out more about smashbooking with me… (visit info page here) I have two workshops open for registration being held at Doonan - up near Noosa..(Qld, Australia) on Thursday 11 Sept.. and another on Saturday 13th Sept. These will be held at LuluArt .. at a gorgeous super sized art table with seating for 8… and windows overlooking a beautiful dam.. and birds singing.. and water lily's floating. It's very retreat like… and as always.. there will be plenty of tea. #smashbookdd is what I'm using on my instagram to share pics relating to this.
love Denise x
if you can't be bothered moving to another page to read What is a Smashbook
… I'll write it here too:
What is a Smash Book?
Two for the price of one very special opportunity
Two for the price of one seat at my Gypsy Retreaty Workshop …
I know that a two day, catered with materials supplied intentional creativitea painting workshop with me, is absolutely worth the $350 investment and… I am also aware that it's an interesting financial climate that has people with variations of whatevertheirstory'sarearoundmoney… I know a few of those story's myself… so… this is avaiable for 2 seats … as I would dearly like to have a full table of women to create together.. and if this is a way to gather them in.. then I am willing to sponsor these spaces.
The offer is available up until close of business on Tuesday 22nd July … however it is on a first paid first booked in basis. If you're absolutely keen email me rightaway and let me know. It will be announced first to my mailing list.. then please share.
The location of this workshop is Doonan (near Noosa), Qld, Australia, on Sat 26th & Sunday 27th July.
love Denise xo
I've been mooching around this week being kindof unproductive and getting a bit pissed off with that … a side issue that occurred to me is 'an addiction to feeling happy' is still a thing and thereby.. whenever any other less than happy emotion appears I wonder what I'm doing wrong. FFS is anyone else that way?
So… I recalled my friend Matt mentioning "HOW GREAT IS THAT TIM FERRISS" when we were hanging out on the weekend.. so I jumped onto itunes and went in search of a 'make me feel better please' podcast. Yep.. true. I do this all the time… who gives a flying fig if that is avoidance of feeling like shite.. it often works for me. I don't avoid how I'm feeling really.. I just think neurotic over thinking, and anyalysis paralysis is a bit (lot) freaking self defeating annoying sometimes. Tim Ferriss is the author of the 4 hour work week… I have not read it.. because I simply did not believe it was true.. possible or anything like that… but.. so far I've found he's great to listen to.. so maybe I'll read it sometime.
Anyway.. back to the podcast search ... I found this one called
"Tricks for the Neurotic, Manic Depressive and Crazy (Like Me)"
and I went ahead and wrote down is 8 points for productivity…
I for one would be fascinated if anyone reading this finds this possible and indeed helpful .. and if you're willing to give it a go.. let me know.. I am going to give it a red hot go… I'm already down with the getting up early and making tea and pen and paper… so I feel somewhat at a small advantage here.. so if this is all new to you.. then take your time… as much as you need.. and maybe tell me next week.. if you tried it. I'd really like that.
I've also just this afternoon while writing this, going for a walk with man and his dog.... had a couple of ideas.. involving … 'desperate times… calling for (not desperate) but GENEROUS measures… so.. I'll go and make the necessary moves to get that happening.
If you want to hear how you could receive an opportunity to come to my Gypsy Retreaty Workshop at half the valued price.. or.. you'd like to know about winning a free seat at my table for a Smash Booking Session then… join the mailing list.. as I'll be sending a note out to them first.
bye for now,
*** off to take some inspired action ***
Well.. felt like quiting this challenge this morning, allergies to who knows what, probably the washing
powder am thinking at this point have me going mad
with itchy eyes, nose and throat instead of sleeping.
So I took my sorry self down to the beach for a gorgeous dose of sunshine … This is a piece I said I started yesterday.., is on water colour paper.. I put some kind of white wash over it today (in progress still) and then . . .
turned my attention to a very coloured square canvas
that was begging for something on it. It's not quite finished.. but my time in the studio is pretty much
done til Monday … I'll take a notebook and pen or something to keep 'something' creative being done
each day… gawd.. I've come this far I HAVE to
complete this challenge for my own self satisfaction!
… Just How Tall Are Those Effen Poppies? is my current working title for this one. I've had one hellova battle today getting myself out of a funk… so this freakin well saved my life with it's ENERGY that came through only after hours and hours of NOT.
so.. that. is. all. for today.
love Denise x
out all day in a meeting.. only time for this quick 'Womandala' tonight …
hopefully… time to paint tomorrow.
Nooo.. I've almost got 'nothing to show' for today… sigh… I just did a bit of work on computer.. and 'wondering allowed' on yesterdays journal page. The result was quite helpful and profound to me… I am just LOVING the look in this woman's eyes.. and it occurred to me how well these figures can encompass how I am feeling sometimes.. and also the ongoing benefit and self care gift to myself that art-journaling continues to be.
and some fun on 'hipstamatic app'
love Denise xo
The more I have this awareness called 'intentional creativity' as a companion in my day the more fascinated and interested I have become in symbols, and symbology … I have a bunch of reference books and cards of all kinds. Below you'll see dramatic black and red image on a card.. that is one from the Liquid Crystal Oracle by Justin Moikeha Asar - Black Onyx is linked to Grounded Self-Awareness. So… when I use these symbols in my artwork, most often I am intending/desiring the essence of that for my own life, but really.. these qualities will be infused into the creation of that painting, and so, I would hope that they would go on having their healing effect for future owners of the works when/if they are sold or given away.
Seriously.. sometimes you wonder if you should leaveitthehellalone… but.. something makes you keep on adding.. taking away… adding.. taking away… it's a dance.. sometimes if feels like I'm a control freak.. other times like I'm in the steady slow flow.. and just to trust … trust… a little more there.. here… so.. this one below is still not finished.. but I have been so enjoyng her presence! Her steady gaze is so SURE of herself! I seek to not take that away.. but carry on around the canvas… honouring her in a way… that she's chosen to come through me… this painting has been transforming through several stages.. she began as a demo piece in my 'Lady of Clarity' workshop. I put the Liquid Crystal symbol of Grounded Self-Awareness on this painting.. even if it disappears beneath the layers.. it's there… for that matter.. the Lady of Clarity is also there!
and… WHOOAA.. if this isn't an inspired happening… I received a beautiful offer of a space near Noosa to hold a workshop if I would like to… so.. before I knew it I'd discussed dates.. theme.. and concept all within an hour of receiving the invitation! So this morning I also created a pdf with the details for a 2 day Workshop/Retreaty weekend, which is going to be on 26th & 27th July. So.. if you are interested to know more about that… send me a message. There will only be 8 spaces available, fully catered, and golden fluid's supplied. Yum! I'll be sending out the details to my mailing list in the next few days, then I'll open it to the public.
That's me for day 3 of 30 in June!
love Denise x
Is this my 'poor neglected blog' .. or just been waiting til I had something artful to say. I have another blog space I use for my 'anything-i-want-to-say-at-all' wonderings… (A Sip of My Tea . com) but I think I've designated this one to be … just art… as it's on my 'Artist website' … allowing for a variety of personality options is also fun for me :)
So today… I am sharing something that began yesterday… and I desire to bring in through all of June… and I'm not promising anything further than that, it only creates too much angst for me. I am joining in a little collective project, thanks to one of the lovely artists I met in Christchurch New Zealand earlier this month. Ruth Reid is instumental in the creative project called JOIN US IN JUNE FOR 30:30 that's a link to the facebook page. The idea is to create something each day for the 30 days of June. Anything… a painting, a page, a cake, a quilt square… anything creative … I'm going to focus on painting, whether that is large or small, or in my art journal, anything so long as I paint every day in June, and try my best to complete something every day in June too.
"Create something each day for the 30 days of June"
So… why do I think it takes courage to create?
Well it's one of my primary ways of expressing myself - and thereby there has been many 'strings' I have attached to it for some years… but THIS WEEK… thanks to a dear friend I had some help, clearing some of those attachments that no longer serve me, and this allowed me a way in that was seemingly difficult / nigh impossible for me to bridge before. I can tell the truth loudly in the pages of my art journal, but to be loud and open on my canvas (when the need arises, inside of myself that is) maybe for the world to see.. feel.. judge… can take courage.
The thing (think / thought) I have to remember :
It doesn't matter what other people think of me …
It matters what I think of me.
It matters what you think of you.
So… here's what happened yesterday… when I asked for couage to create inside just this one day
(taking it one day at a time was also very sage wisdom from my healing session the other day)
thanks whole heartedly to you Raelene Byrne. (Medicine for your Spirit)
I love the difference it made when I opened her eyes… that took courage from her too.
We're a team.. 'my wise inner self, my artist self, inner child, muse… ' it's take a bunch.
This painting will be going to an exhibition in Brisbane in June 'Celebration of the Female Form' you can find out about tickets to that here.
That's it for today… I better be off, to gather the 'Courage to create inside this one day'.
love Denise xo
Good morning friends,
This makes me want to write one for myself… do you have one?
I shared the link to an interview in another blog post in January, but having listened again in the car this week to Jamie's and Tami's chat I heard again his 'Creativity Manifesto' and I wanted to keep it, read if often, and share it with all & sundry.
As I begin February, and the Year of the Wooden Horse, this realllly spoke to me, I have had a shit time this past week dealing with my hyper vigilant perfectionist, mild anxiety associated with my creativity resulting in feeling frozen and not painting, it's a new month, I'll be addressing it for sure, and this kind of truth telling (Jamie Catto's creativity manifesto shared below) goes a long way towards helping me release the crappola and move into some kind of grace, a space for self forgiveness and self love.
Insights at the Edge.
From a podcast called: Breaking the Approval Addiction and Expressing Our Creative Gifts
Tami Simon: " OK, here we go. So this is from Jamie Catto’s "Creativity Manifesto:"
Jamie Catto: "I’m in. I love hearing you say it."
full transcript of the interview can be found here:
Books I Love
“There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.”